Alright, quick, I'm a lazy fag update there are just a lot of hilarious links I need to post.

Penny Arcade mermaid hilarity

How to apply RPGs to real life situations

Weird Al craziness

Now that video isn't an accurate representation of the average nerd. We're all far too good for Myspace and Star Trek. The former is for emos and the latter for ancient people. I am also NOT white, which is another problem. Finally there were no mentions of WoW.

Speaking of WoW

For those who haven't watched it, the greatest WoW video I've seen.

So last post (oh so long ago, blegh, laziness) I addressed PvP and general issues involving the classes.

To further your WoWducation, I'd like to introduce you to Daynadin, my 60 Dwarf Hunter.

Daynadin has a full Giantstalker set, meaning he gets various set related bonuses. It also means he kicks faaaar too much ass in PvP.

I mean it's scary, I can take on 3 guys at the same time and come out on top. They have to be crap, but I can do it.

Now Daynadin is on Sunstrider, a PvP server. Remember what I said last time kiddies? That's right, if you choose PvE, you're a carebear noob. You should go and cuddle a teddy bear while you fart kittens at one another.

Being on a PvP server, every so often, an idiot from the horde, well, horde are usually smarter than alliance (as if that's hard), but they're idiots for even daring to think they compare to me, attacks me from behind while I'm on low health and kills me.

There are a few things wrong with this.

1. I should never die without willing it to happen

2. Hordies should never touch me

3. They usually aren't shadowpriests.

I don't get angry though, oh no, I get even. I ressurect myself, stalk said hordie for as long as necessary and kill him when he's at his weakest.

After this, I dance on his corpse and proceed to camp him so that when he resses on half health and mana I can kill him again and again and again.

Did I mention, hunters have a function which lets them track enemies over 200 yards away, this means, he can't ressurect without me seeing it!

Ahh, but it isn't over yet. No.

To further enforce my authority I must engage in a sacred WoW ritual.

Humiliation on the forums

Fortunately this has been made extremely easy by the sunstrider community.

It is also customary to dipose of flamers ingame. And then post about how much they suck.

Note kiddies, this is NOT the same as whining on the forums about being ganked. If you whine about being ganked and expect people to stop you're a carebear PvE retard who chose the wrong server because he thinks he's hardcore. You are a n00b. You must crawl into a hole and die.

Some remember kids the magic cycle is:

Kill, Dance, Humiliate.

And they say video games make us violent.

Having mentioned WoW so much, I've decided it's time for a WoW education theme in my blog.

Hopefully, I'll get you interested enough to try out that FREE sample to the right of this post. (Choose Sunstrider server, add the character Daynadin to your friends list)

We'll start off with a simple video, addressing PvP balance.

Why PvP balance?

Because PvE servers are for noobs.

That's right, if you elect to go onto a PvE server you're a retard crybaby who lacks any skill and can't fight for shit.

Seriously, when cross realm battlegrounds were released I realised how good PvP servers were.

Anyway I'm getting ahead of myself.

Here is a summary of PvP balance in WoW.

(Note, hunters are in the wrong category, they're rocks at 60)

Also for more WoW savvy people, how to PvP with a restoration druid.

Guess what time it is?

That's right!

I'm being lazy filler time!

Ladies and Gentlemen.

Boys and Girls.

And the guys in the cheap seats at the back.

I give you, the one, the only,

HOFF!

So where was I?

Ah right.

Girls.

Well, I say girls, I mean girl(s). Meaning that there were many girls, but only one that talked to me and didn't slap me in the face.

So I'm on holiday in Italy, with no alcohol, no video games, bitchy relatives and parents not sealed behind the door of justice. Naturally, I'm trying to drown myself in the swimming pool.

Now most people will realise that this is indeed a fruitless endeavour as I'll just go unconscious and float back to the surface. They forget one thing, I can't hear people underwater. Not hearing people is a good thing.

Of course, upon the realisation that death will keep me from WoW I surface. And there I see her, a girl, actually smiling at me.

Now let me give you an idea of what I'd been facing in Italy. Italian chicks are hot, I mean REALLY hot. (Apart from those fat 50 year old Godmother types) Now usually hot girls walking around in skimpy clothes is a good thing, a very good thing. In fact it's something I'd pay to see. However, as you will recall, I am sharing a room with my parents. My parents who insist I take a shower first because I take the least time.

So, I'm completely fucked, or not fucked, depending on how you look at it.

Anyway, so this girl is smiling at me. So, in truely pimping and heroic fashion, I smile back very slightly.

Now usually when I flirt with a girl, something along these lines happen.

1. I quote a video game, she asks me to explain and I go on a long ramble about how the quotation works. Girl walks off.

2. I struggle not to do number 1. and find I have nothing interesting to say.

3. I screw up royally

The girl says "hi."

Panic mode on.

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

"Hi"

That went surprisingly well.

So anyway, I start talking to her and it turns out she's not Italian, but English. She's smart, upper middle class and from south London. More importantly, she looked fucking hot in a wet clingy bikini.

Anyway, we seem to have clicked pretty well, more importantly, my parents have no idea of her existence.

Just out of curiosity I ask her what her exams were like and she mentions having an exam AFTER the holiday. In August. Now I'm no super genius but methinks information like this deserves further research.

I ask her where she goes to school.

"King's College" WELL SHIT. Things have taken a turn for the more complicated.

It turns out she's 19 at King's College London. Not a bloke, going to our school.

Now, I'm about to feign being a student and attempt to get some hot 2 years above me action, Ed Hebbourn style when my cousin shows up.

Goddamn.

"So Raj, you worried about your AS results, you know, because you're still in the 6th form. I mean those ASes are pretty easy if you ask my awesome self."

For the rest of the holiday I have to put up with my cousin attempting to flirt with her and her giving me accusing looks every time we crossed paths.

She ended up going out with one of the waiters.

My swimming pool induced suffocation made the rest of the holiday pass a lot faster.

Yes, more filler because I'm lazy.

This one is for all the girl(s) that read my blog. Also, guys will probably find it hilarious as well.

John Cena explains the greatest pick up line a girl can use, ever. He also confirms that I am wasting my life.

As if I didn't know that already.

Enjoy.