Soo much geekery.....

As I write this I'm struggling not to writhe on the floor in sheer pleasure.

In fact I think I will





So where do I begin. Saturday the 14th. Went out and watched the history boys with such friends as little Alex, Wil and Mara to list a few. Not only is the movie friggin' brilliant afterwards we once again went filming.

This time, to Wil and my shotgun's credit, I was in a more major role.

Also, the lack of a horrific soundtrack (or any sound track at all for that matter) and hilarious silent film-esque subtitles could only have made it better.

Yes, I do look like a complete psycho but what do you expect the Mean Dream to look like?

Note also that I have female dream minions. This can only be a good thing.

This little jaunt to the outside however, was only the prelude to possibly the greatest day in my life.

My 18th birthday party.

We had 8, that's right folks 8 friggin' player Mario Kart. We had bottle upon bottle of hard liquor, 16 token beers or something. Soul Calibur, Smash bros, it was a veritable orgy of geekery. I had at least 5 shots before 3 in the afternoon. To put this into perspective, the party began at 1.

Shot number four

The results of shot number four

Yes folks, I actually remembered I was Indian.

What the hell?

And if you think it got better from there.... well you're mistaken. I drunk more, and more and more. And for you lightweights out there, not once was I sick, I never even got close. Well I might've got close, but I wasn't, so you all lose!

The rest of the evening is lost in a drunken haze. All I know is that guys were kissed, cigars were smoked and more videogames were played.

Kudos to Simon and Mark who win most insane present ever prize. A collosal red dragon pushes the "Jesus Saves T-shirt" from top spot.

But oooh no, that wasn't it.

Nooooo, a week of world of warcraft later and another party appeared on the horizon.

Ladies and Gentlemen. Thanks to the great Mara, provider of pizza, beer and all things pleasant, the star wars marathon of justice was attempted.

In admittedly a slightly more sober environment we attempted to watch every single star wars episode in a row.

Rather unfortunately, we were booted out of the house at midnight.

This meant that only 5 of a possible 6 episodes were watched.

However, we made up for this with geeky discussions about star wars novels, how much hotter dark side Anakin is, why Padme didn't pass her looks to Leia and later in the night, porn, with a slightly outlandish edge to it.

I never quite realised how evil Tom Dancaster is. He joins Mara and me in a triumverate of evil stationed on the leather couch of star wars.

After all that horrendous geekery, Nick Kassam's 18th is on the schedule tonight. My best wishes to him and Sophie Fenton who is sharing it as her 17th.

With that, happy Divali and happy new year to the lot of you.

I shall be celebrating in a typically pious hindu style.

Wake me up if I stop drinking.

Today, I honour a most important day.

Perhaps the greatest day in the lives of all you pitiful mortals.

Birth of Christ? Naaaah. I'm bigger than Jesus.

Ascension of the prophet? True, he went straight to heaven but did he pwn level 60 warlocks? I think not.

That's right ladies and gentlemen, today is my birthday.

As it happens, my birthday is in the same month as GM Dave's birthday, yet more proof that October is the ultimate month.

So instead of the usual rant about WoW, ineptitude with girls or why other people suck, I'm going to rant about growing old.

I woke up today thinking, shit I'm 18 now. Shouldn't I feel all responsible and stuff? I mean the law thinks I'm responsible enough to drink. Note people, the law is also functionally retarded. I look back on my past years and think to myself, "Wow, I was such a damn noob." I mean really folks, at one point in my life I honestly thought that ghoul rush with a level 1 hero in Warcraft 3 was the way to win. We all of course know that a level 2 hero is the only way to go.

Back to the subject. In all seriousness, I then wonder to myself if I'd ever have changed anything about my life. Done something differently and honestly, I can't say I would've. Sure, I could wish for a better understanding of women, or more of a social life. But then I think, I wouldn't be me any more. I tried not being me once, not being me is fucking stupid, anyone who isn't me must go and throw themselves off a cliff for not having as good a life. Looking back on these 18 years, I realise, not only am I completely happy with my life, no matter how nerdy or pokemon fueled it may be, it bloody pwns.

I can do, ANYTHING and not lose social standing because of it, I can actually be the person I want to be without living up to other people's expectations. And why do I not care about other people's expectations?

One, very, very, simple reason.

Other people are noobs.

Learn this people and you learn the secret to eternal happiness.

After that oddly serious bit, back to the insanity.

Another person born in October, the great Tommy Dancaster, had a birthday party on the Saturday. Not only did I show up, I was actually invited. After discussion of the Alex club, which I apparently am in, the great Will decided to make a short film, which initially showed promise.

Unfortunately, Toby got involved.

The result being the Cannizarian Massacres

Note, I am the first tree sniper. Note also that due to my godliness I never actually die in the film. You may see another Asian dead, that is Sameer, my unholy clone who must be wiped from the earth. I have a bounty of two million imperial credits for the person that successfully brings me his rotting head.

Note also that I am not included in the credits. I have a bounty of ten million imperial credits for the person that successfully brings me Will's rotting head.

Finally, to those who gave me birthday beats, you're all complete pillocks. To those who gave me birthday hugs, you're brilliant.

You're also infected with the T-virus.

Raj out.