So you're all wondering why the hell I've started a blog. No, I'm not trying to find a place to be emo and whine about how terrible my life is, I'd be using livejournal or myspace for that. No, I'm not trying to start a cult following which will end in world domination, my propaganda department is way ahead on that front. No, this blog has been started out of boredom. Specifically boredom in Italy.
About 10 days ago I was suddenly informed by my parents that I was going on holiday (ye gods, I'm not out of school yet, about 99% of all readers have now gone to read bannable offenses instead, but I'll amuse the rest of you weirdos) . I expressed concern about going on holiday. Read, I tried to stab them with a fork. Whilst I was being restrained they informed me that I'd agreed to it in Easter.
There are a few problems with this. 1. They imply that I would choose to go outside. 2. They imply that I would want to leave my computer for more than a couple of hours. (Yes folks, I do go out, if only to play more video games) 3. They imply that I enjoy wandering around seeing churches, when I'm not Christian, hell, they're not even Christians. Sure the architecture's nice and all but I have a little tool known as the internet. You know what the internet does? Lets me see things that are far away so I don't have to get off my ass. 4. They imply that I want to disrupt the system. Let me run you through the system.
Excuse the fuzziness of the image, I'm lazy as hell.
Note, me, on the left, in my room, with my computer. Note, my parents on the right. Now note the DOOR OF JUSTICE in between the two of us. It's a very simple system. I stay by my computer with said door closed, unless I need to go outside for food or the toilet. My parents conveniently stay on the OTHER side of the door and leave me alone. Occasionally they rant at me for playing too much WoW or not working hard enough. It's a good system, it means I don't have to talk to them. You know what a single hotel room with 3 beds means? NO door of justice. And can you guess what this means? Yes that's right folks, I have to talk with my parents. Why anyone would want to talk to their parents is beyond me. Don't get me wrong, I do love my parents. They're just boring as hell.
They then tell me that they asked while I was playing WoW. Mystery solved. So I found myself packing for Italy. DS, laptop, mobile, I might just live. Then I was told that we were going with my uncle and his family. All games were banned. The fork was unfortunately out of reach.
So I found myself on a plane bound for Italy. The horror of no video games and no computer for a full week.
About 10 days ago I was suddenly informed by my parents that I was going on holiday (ye gods, I'm not out of school yet, about 99% of all readers have now gone to read bannable offenses instead, but I'll amuse the rest of you weirdos) . I expressed concern about going on holiday. Read, I tried to stab them with a fork. Whilst I was being restrained they informed me that I'd agreed to it in Easter.
There are a few problems with this. 1. They imply that I would choose to go outside. 2. They imply that I would want to leave my computer for more than a couple of hours. (Yes folks, I do go out, if only to play more video games) 3. They imply that I enjoy wandering around seeing churches, when I'm not Christian, hell, they're not even Christians. Sure the architecture's nice and all but I have a little tool known as the internet. You know what the internet does? Lets me see things that are far away so I don't have to get off my ass. 4. They imply that I want to disrupt the system. Let me run you through the system.
Excuse the fuzziness of the image, I'm lazy as hell.Note, me, on the left, in my room, with my computer. Note, my parents on the right. Now note the DOOR OF JUSTICE in between the two of us. It's a very simple system. I stay by my computer with said door closed, unless I need to go outside for food or the toilet. My parents conveniently stay on the OTHER side of the door and leave me alone. Occasionally they rant at me for playing too much WoW or not working hard enough. It's a good system, it means I don't have to talk to them. You know what a single hotel room with 3 beds means? NO door of justice. And can you guess what this means? Yes that's right folks, I have to talk with my parents. Why anyone would want to talk to their parents is beyond me. Don't get me wrong, I do love my parents. They're just boring as hell.
They then tell me that they asked while I was playing WoW. Mystery solved. So I found myself packing for Italy. DS, laptop, mobile, I might just live. Then I was told that we were going with my uncle and his family. All games were banned. The fork was unfortunately out of reach.
So I found myself on a plane bound for Italy. The horror of no video games and no computer for a full week.
posted by Natural 20 at 5:21 pm
2 Comments:
You're way too hard on yourself. Why, just the other week you left the house not to play videogames, no! To _talk_ about playing them. And the week after that you left the house for a full day to see a film based on a comic book! This kind of merciless self-deprication for comic effect will get you no-where my friend. DOOR OF JUSTICE! (and wank)
You say that, but guess what i did as soon as I got back from the film.
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